I've had many day 1's since my first post. Sad to say it still is my lack of self control which holds me to making the same mistakes over and over. I have a patch on currently, but not after nearly finishing a pack of cigarettes this evening. I threw out my last cigarette and put the patch on in an act of desperation to not continue to the same mistakes.
My life style choices have differed dramatically over the past two years... From cutting down / quitting drinking to losing a ton of weight... In the last three months though i feel like i am falling back into the same self destructive habits which i had escaped for near 9 months. I am not saying that i am going to quit drinking and smoking forever.... what i am saying is that in the present moment i need to quit smoking and cut down on drinking dramatically before something bad happens.
My buddy Brian is a good guy.... He's a great guy... but at the same time i feel like i have taken advantage of his couch one to many times for comfort. I dont want to be the guy sleeping it off in the parking lot or down a side street. I dont want to be the guy sleeping it off on someones couch. I dont want to be the guy that has to spend 11 dollars a day due to lack of self control and will power. I dont want to be the guy that smells the worst. I dont want to be the guy that has trouble breathing.
I want to be the guy with self control.
